Inspired by Meg, as my Thanksgiving looks like it might be filled with . . . um . . . fun, here goes!
(prologue: I can cook. I just hate to do it so I don't. I understand the hows and whys but think of it as an ungodly chore and avoid it all costs.)
Agree to make green bean casserole to take to mother-in-laws for dinner.
Don't like green beans.
Never made said casserole.
Go grocery shopping. Read the recipe off the back of the Durkee Fried Onions can. Buy supplies. Buy double. Store them in a place to easily find.
Forget where that place is.
9:15am find them.
Realize my casserole dish isn't big enough for a double recipe.
Find another dish.
Think about how to get a hot dish a half hour to my in-laws house and keep it hot.
Remember roaster oven that I got 5 years ago as a wedding present still in the basement in it's box.
Pull it out. Now cooking a new recipe in a device I've never used. Hmm . . .
Read directions. Must "cure?"
9:45am Cure cooker by turning it on high for an hour in an outside well-venilated place.
Plug it in.
9:55am Realize that the breaker blew last night and the outside plug isn't working.
Reset.
Start curing.
10:05am Open door, check to see if it's working. Touch cooker. Burn finger.
10:45am Bring cooker in to cool.
11:00am Wash cooker. We are now ready when the time comes!
In the midst of checking curing cooker, rip apart front closet and clean. Make kids try on snow suits, mittens, hats. Find bags and bags of knitting supplies. Box 'em up because, well, once you've gone digital, you never go back! Closet is now the cleanest room in our house. I'm thinking of moving the computer in there just so I can enjoy it more.
1:30pm Pre-heat cooker as mentioned in instructions. Assemble ingredients. Choose bowl the perfect size for mixing. Perfect size if you are making one batch. Forgot I'm making a double batch. Stir. Milk, fried onions, beans, soup mix splatter. Remember why I detest green beans. Really, that smell . . . UGH!
1:45pm Pour mixture into cooker. Make note. Don't pre-heat and then pour liquid into something. Steam, sizzling, mess.
1:50pm Take break to eat the left over fried onions right out of the can. Feel slightly ill after finishing left over fried onions in can!
2:15pm Finish. Wake up kids from naps. Go to in-laws.
Eat dinner but since I despise green beans and if I have to even look at another fried onion I'll be sick, (note to self: don't eat fried onions out of the can and a diet pepsi for lunch before thanksgiving feat) I don't even try my own dish. Forgot to look to see if anyone was enjoying them as I was busy eating turkey, rolls with real butter, wine (ahem, several glasses), stuffing, cranberries, salad, corn, and 3 (yes 3) helpings of some pineapple dish, mashed pototes, carrots, finished off with cranberry torte of some sort and pumpkin cheese cake. SO, to borrow from Meg . . .
Too. Stuffed. To. Move.
I came home with an empty pan. (shrug) Don't know if those green beans were good or not!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
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6 comments:
ROFL!!! Hope it's working out! Can't wait to read the rest!
By 11 I would have been imbibing, I think. Glad you had a great Thanksgiving.
Perhaps next year you should pass off a catered dish bought one day ahead? Much less stressful! LOL!
lol! my sis and I were just talking about how much she loves that recipe! she was asked to bring pies instead so she made the durkee bean recipe just for herself (or maybe she popped in and ate yours???).
Beth I am so in support of your prologue. I have managed to avoid cooking for the last 20 years and I plan to continue to do so. The world seems to be populated with people who love to cook so let them get on with it, I say.
Oh and by the way, our Family Christmas is at my house this year and I have managed to get my brother (who has been living with me and cooking for the past 9 months, but is moving to his own place this weekend) to agree to come back and cook Christmas Dinner! Yesssss!
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